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It’s about your partner trying to control what you do, how you act, what you say.His/her control over you limits your personal freedom.There are often signs of an imbalance of power in a relationship that are overlooked and can lead to more serious abuse.Verbal and emotional abuse are very often minimized by people, i.e.We also offer support to secondary survivors, such as intimate partners, friends, family, and you.Emotional abuse often begins subtly and increases in severity over time.“My partner is not abusive..don’t hit me.” If any of these indicators are present in a relationship, it is crucial that each partner gets help before it gets worse.
Unhealthy relationships cover a spectrum of miss use of power and control.
Does this person resent you having friends of your own? Does this person use money as a means of control in your relationship? Does this person boast of sexual intimacy as a victory or achievement, or define members of the opposite sex as sexual property? Has this person ever forced, pressured, or manipulated you into having sex when it was against your wishes? Does this person exhibit unpredictable mood swings? Do they “play” with them in your presence to make you uncomfortable? Does this person deny responsibility for faults by shifting the responsibility to someone/something else or explaining the behavior as necessary and unavoidable? Alcohol and drug use reduce a person’s self-control, and are often used as an excuse for abusive behavior, but are not the cause of violence. Does this person have a history of getting into frequent fights with others?
Do they make you feel bad for having less money than they do? Does this person try to control your friendships (e.g., place restrictions on whom you can see and when you can see them)? Does this person threaten to harm your friends if you continue seeing them or if they try to help you? Does this person monitor you phone calls, check your texts, misuse your social media outlets (i.e. Getting easily upset by small annoyances and lash out verbally or physically as a means of coping with the situation? If after looking over this list you answered “yes” to more questions than you are comfortable with, it is possible that the relationship you were evaluating is not a healthy one.
Abusive behavior follows a pattern; it happens frequently and is meant to make you question your own thoughts and feelings. You may feel that you have to do things his/her way in order to keep the peace.
He/she may challenge your ideas or actions telling you that the way you do things is “wrong”.
All of these forms of abuse (psychological, economic, and physical) come from the abuser's desire for power and control.