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"At a deeper subconscious level is your fear not just of being told 'no,' but of your reaction to being told 'no,'" he says.
Goulston now works as a business advisor and consultant using the skills he honed in his negotiation-training job. Think of several examples of when your boss has said yes to something and when they've said no, and figure out what factors drove them to their decision. Assume you're dealing with a 'receiver,' not a 'giver.' Most people are "receivers" who are not willing to give — unless you ask, he says. When they tell you whatever their answer is, remain calm, look them in the eye, and say: "You know as well as I do that these conversations are usually a negotiation.
Members of such churches often develop a distorted view of reality, distrust everyone, and suffer from stress, fear, and depression.Sixth, these churches have a persecution complex and view themselves as being persecuted by the world, the media, and other Christian churches.Seventh, abusive churches specifically target young adults between eighteen and twenty-five years of age.The eighth and final mark of abusive churches is the great difficulty members have in getting out of or leaving these churches, a process often marked by social, psychological, or emotional pain.Those involved in a church that seems to reflect these characteristics would be wise to evaluate the situation thoroughly and leave the church if it is appropriate.
Fourth, these churches tend to change their names often, especially once they are exposed by the media.