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Posted by / 25-Oct-2015 20:18

Dating a girl with emotional baggage

“Basically every relationship you’ve had comes with some form of emotional baggage,” she says.

“But the most common problems that people mention are those associated with former significant others as well as parents and family members.” What type of emotional baggage are you carrying around?

“Eventually John told me about how an ex-girlfriend he’d dated for several years had been cheating on him for the majority of their time together, so he had his own emotional baggage as well,” she says.

“It made me feel much more comfortable knowing that I wasn’t alone, and while our baggage is different, we both have it.” Acceptance may take some people longer than others.

However, when Lauren started dating John during her junior year of college, her first real relationship since her abusive one, she found that she couldn’t shake the problems that had haunted her for years.

“Any time he got remotely annoyed, I’d start apologizing profusely, just like I had with my ex-boyfriend when I was trying to stop the abuse,” she says.

“Large problems in relationships, like infidelity or even just constant bickering, can leave you feeling vulnerable in future relationships,” she says.

“So if you had a boyfriend who cheated on you, it will probably affect how you interact with your next significant other.

So, what is emotional baggage really, how can you stop it from hurting your future relationships and how can you pack your baggage up for good?

Lauren*, a senior at the University of Florida, found herself dealing with emotional baggage from six years prior when she began dating her boyfriend, John*.

“I was in an emotionally and sometimes physically abusive relationship when I was a freshman and sophomore in high school and thought I’d finally moved past it when I got to college,” she says.

“I went through a lot during those two years we were together, and I guess a lot of my emotional baggage has to do with that relationship.

It’s definitely affected how I treat my friends and family, and I’m still trying to find a way to cope.” While romantic relationships do make up a large portion of the issues relating to emotional baggage, problems with family, friends and strangers can still leave a mark.

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